I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
