in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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