tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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