Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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