yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
