I'm jealous of your bromance
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just sucked dick on a ferry
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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