Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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