You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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