Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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