how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize