Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
