So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
