(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
