Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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