Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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