It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
