I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
