2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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