whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
