Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
