ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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