brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i have two assholes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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