So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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