Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
