My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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