I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
