so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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