He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
