You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
