there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
