How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
