You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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