he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
