dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
