they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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