Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
