I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
