She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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