Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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