he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
