that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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