I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
