wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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