And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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