I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
try to milk me bitch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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