she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
