god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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