If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
