i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
