Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
