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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex

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• (760): View more from California

  dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..

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