I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
