Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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