Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I look excited, but its just a facade.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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