I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
