Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
