He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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