His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
