Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
