I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
