we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize