These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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