White coat. Heels.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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