i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
