that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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