You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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