I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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