So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
