Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
