You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
