My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
