It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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