no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
