If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
