Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i believe in u and ur pee
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
