Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
