Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
