If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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