hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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