If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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