I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
