so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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